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Perhaps you find yourself getting upset with your significant partner for how they are acting. Do you ever find yourself being impatient with others for what they’re doing or not doing with their life? Do you look at those around you and feel like, “If they’d just listen to me, they’d be way better off?”

While others might feel irritating to you, what you are really seeing is a reflection of your relationship with yourself being mirrored in your relationship with them. I appreciate that this is a tough pill to swallow, but it is also a way of getting a little deeper insight into yourself, so hang in here with me for a bit. The good news is that if you don’t like what you see in others, you can actually do something about it by healing and enhancing your relationship with yourself.

If you find yourself sometimes getting impatient with yourself, chances are that it’s the logical and practical adult self who’s tired of dealing with your inner child. There is even a pretty good chance that how you’re treating that inner child is similar to how one of your parents treated you as a child.

The cost of not healing that relationship and learning to be kinder and more connected within yourself plays out in many ways: your finances, health, relationships, and your ability to work with and lead others. Employees and co-workers don’t want to put up with your attitudes and unhealed issues. They already have enough of their own unhealed emotional backlog (which they’ll be passing along to their kids). They certainly don’t need you pushing their “not enough” buttons!

Relationships serve as a fantastic mirror. When you begin to recognize your patterns, you may want to resolve those past issues. You do have a choice: You can either stuff those hurts back down and pretend to ignore them, or you can reparent that inner child and give him or her all the support and love you didn’t get as a child – when those inner hurts happened. Do you want to carry those issues around and have them sabotage the rest of your life, or heal them and inspire a new level of truly living?

The choice is always yours.