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Instead of being that connected all the time, do you find you and your partner pushing each other’s buttons and bumping up against the same old painful issue? Are you tired of feeling like your relationship may be spinning out of control as you inwardly say, “Here we go again!”?

It doesn’t matter how often it happens or how great it’s been in between. When the shit hits the relationship fan, it’s still makes us feel helpless and frustrated. It shakes your confidence in yourselves and in the relationship. You want to blame them and they want to blame you, but the fact is, you both need to step back and take a deeper look at what’s going on and why it keeps happening.

The truth is that our relationship with others reflects our relationship with yourself, and that’s especially true in our primary relationships. So some helpful questions to ask might be, “What does this issue tell me about myself?” And, “Why do I keep picking up my end of the rope and think I’m going to win this tug-of-war we’re in?”

It’s like a reflex that you can’t control. Your partner says something that triggers you and you shoot back with something that triggers them. If you enjoy that power struggle and drama, then by all means, go for it. But, if you find it exhausting then perhaps you are ready to take a deeper look at how these issues that are mutually igniting, can also be mutually healing.

Sure, you each have a story to that makes you right, but what sensitive area within you is that story protecting? What is the source of that deeper sensitivity or personal pain? The outer struggle is actually just an indicator of a deeper challenge that is in fact an opportunity to heal and grow.

When a lobster feels a discomfort it knows to find a safe place where it can shed its old shell and begin to grow a new one that it can expand and grow into. Those challenges you run into in life are like the lobster’s discomfort. They are indicators that it is time to let go of what is limiting you and evolve into the expanded version of yourself that you are meant to be.

That is the true purpose of relationship: to help each other grow and open up your hearts. As you heal your past together and shed the armor from your heart, you develop a deeper connection and more trust & appreciation. At the same time, you develop more empathy and compassion for yourself and each other. And after all, isn’t that what we all really want – more love and a deeper connection.

If you’re tired of the old struggles and dramas and are ready for more love, then let’s look at how you can successfully create that.