I hear many Influencers say that, “The past is just the past.” They tell us to just focus on our positive thoughts in order to create the life of our dreams. That sounds great – if only it were that easy! The reason this approach doesn’t work is that we’re only aware of about 5 percent of our thoughts – the ones that are conscious. So, even if we we’re able to make sure that our conscious thoughts are positive, what about the other 95 percent of our subconscious thoughts? Those are the thoughts (even though we are not aware of them) that dictate what we think (consciously), feel, and do. Of course, those subconscious thoughts are going to be greatly influenced by our past experiences, including the ones that we didn’t know how to deal with emotionally.
I’m always impressed with how accomplished my clients are and all that they are doing with their lives. Yet all eventually recognize that they’re being held back by one or more unresolved issues from their childhood. This causes them to have their foot on the brake of their life. Not far into our conversation, I’ll ask how much energy they feel they use to deal with this emotional backlog from their past. The answer is almost always at least 40 to 50 percent.
That means they’ve done all of these impressive things with their life using only half of their innate abilities, focus, and energy. Can you imagine what they could do when they have all of their energy available to them? — When their entire life is focused and in alignment with their highest intention? Sure enough, as they get into that inner work, their foot comes off the brake and away they go!
As they heal and reconnect with themselves, they become whole again. There isn’t one half resisting the other half, so life becomes quite a bit easier. Their mind is quieter and much more focused. Without all that struggle and distraction, they enjoy their enhanced perspective and fulfilling their vision. Of course their deeper connection with themselves is reflected in their relationship with others.
As a recap, here’s what causes us to apply the brakes: With each childhood event or experience that we struggled to resolve, our emotions got shoved down rather than supportively expressed. Many of us even turn these unresolved emotions on ourselves, and begin to feel like we’re not enough. Adding to that burden, kids not only take on and have to deal with their own emotions, they also are wide open to the unresolved feelings that mom and dad aren’t dealing with. By the time we reach adulthood, this accumulated burden of unresolved emotional backlog is using up to 40 percent or more of our energy – just to keep it stuffed down and “safely” at bay.
So if you’re wondering why you’re feeling tired, having relationship problems, emotionally shut down, or have health or financial issues, then your emotional backlog is an excellent place to start looking for the answers. How much of your energy do you use to keep your emotional backlog in check? How is that affecting your relationships, work and finances, and your health and spiritual well-being?
Your relationship with yourself is clearly reflected in your closest relationships. How connected do you feel? How open is your heart? Are you dealing with more drama than you’d like?
If you want to enjoy better health, become a better partner or parent, or a more impactful leader, then you’ll need to take your foot off the brake. Reach out to me and we’ll take a look at how to do that.